breadmaakesyoufat:

i just heard a bouncing noise and then that was followed by my dad saying

"oh no my potato"

I don’t get it.
palerism:

a

"Normal? What do you know about normal? What does anyone in this family know about normal?"

mass-transit-baron:

We all worship something

jedavu:

Amazing Face-Paintings Transform Models Into The 2D Works Of Famous Artists

by  Valeriya Kutsan

l4mbie:

Fuck this weather man

Fuck me instead

jordynivy:

annaoverboard:

What if you wake up one morning and you’re in bed with the love of your life and they have their arm around you and their snoring like a fucking ass hole, but you can’t help but to smile and you hear a baby crying and it finally hits you, you’ve made it.
you beat the demons inside you, the voices, the darkness.
I look forward to that, to knowing I made it.

this deserve so many notes

vaguelyjewish:

testoster0ne:

how do woman not orgasm when inserting tampons.

like isn’t just like having sex idgi?

This sounds like a Mitt Romney diary entry.

cassieblack:

arineat:

sigmarikz:

certaflyably:

thirstingaintdead:

Top 3 phrases that’ll create sexual tension

  1. "Make me",
  2. "oh really",
  3. "is that so"

"prove it"

"What’s in it for me?"

"Wanna bet?"

"Scared, Potter?"

I will never get a Prenup

24kvrvts:

Getting a prenup means that you accept that the relationship will end and that you are scared that your partner will try to steal your money. Call me nieve but if I am going to marry someone I will expect to be with them for the rest of my life.

Prenups are one of the reasons will celebrity relationship don’t last long. Trust is the most important thing to have in a relationship, money is nothing without love.

maximnorthover:

OH YEAH! I REMEMBER HER… U IN DANGER BOI.